Morgan the Vampire Slayer A spell gone wrong
by FlowerOfMidnight
Summary: are temporarily transformed into Buffy characters! Killian is turned into tweed-wearing Giles, Cal resurrected...now also a LOTR spell and HP spell in next chapters.
1. Morgan the Vampire Slayer

List of characters under the Buffy spell  
  
Morgan - Buffy  
  
Hunter - Spike  
  
Bree - Anya  
  
Robbie - Xander  
  
Alisa - Tara  
  
Raven - Faith  
  
Sky - Willow  
  
Killian - Giles  
  
Cal - Angel  
  
Kithic are holding a circle. Morgan was daydreaming, and when they came out of the circle something was seriously wrong...  
  
Morgan: Um - it wasn't me?  
  
Robbie: Got to say it Morgan, but it's always you. Whatever it is.  
  
Hunter (more to the point): Bloody hell Morgan, what've you done this time?!  
  
Morgan: What about you? You never swear!  
  
Hunter: Sure I bloody well do.  
  
Morgan: No you don't. I've read Seeker. You made up long poetic speeches about laundry.  
  
Hunter: *Gasps* That was meant to be in the bloody Council's bloody confidential files!  
  
Sky: Um, Hunter?  
  
(He argues over her)  
  
Sky: Hunter?  
  
(Raven delivers a karate chop that leaves him gasping. Raven looks at her newly powerful arms, suddenly awed by her new strength - then shrugs and does it again. And again. Till Morgan pulls her off and accidentally throws her into a wall.)  
  
Morgan: Er, oops?  
  
Raven: Er, oo- no wait a minute, what am I saying oops for? I enjoyed that. (Hunter is crawling to his feet in the background. She hits him and he falls back down again. Then she hits him again for good measure.) Anyway, someone please listen to Sky!  
  
(Sky pulls herself up timidly and straightens her nerdy top that has suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The top she had on before has gone, but the changeover scene has been missed out because SOME readers aren't perverts.)  
  
Sky: Um, Hunter? Your hair.  
  
(Hunter runs a hand over his spikes.)  
  
Hunter: Bloody hell.  
  
(Everybody dashes for the mirror in the hall. Alisa is caught in the crush and suffocates. That gets her out the way then.)  
  
Morgan: Oh my goddess, I know what I did!  
  
Hunter: Well that's a first.  
  
(Raven kicks him in the balls for variety. He takes it hard.)  
  
Morgan: Oh my goddess, we're all - Buffy characters!  
  
(Another mad dash for the mirror so everyone can see which one they are. Since Hunter is out cold and Alisa is dead it is less of a crush this time. Instead, we have Bree tripping over a loose floorboard and the resulting injury when she hits her head on the floor kills her.)  
  
Robbie: *gasps* Nooo! The sex - the sex...  
  
Sky: We have to reverse the spell.  
  
(Everyone nods.)  
  
Sky: Any more mad dashes for the mirror and we'll all be killed. Morgan?  
  
Morgan: Hey guys, this probably isn't the best time to tell you but...I can't. I've been trying the last ten minutes.  
  
Sky: Of course!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Sky: She's Buffy. Buffy is incompetent at magick. Therefore, she can't do magick. In fact, none of us can apart from me and Alisa...Alisa?  
  
(Everyone looks down.)  
  
Morgan: Hey guys, I'm like, getting this total urge to go to the graveyard.  
  
Raven: Yeah, I get it too. There's something important...something we need...  
  
Morgan: Yeah like, but I don't get what it is.  
  
Raven: Pencils!  
  
Robbie: Pencils?  
  
(Raven takes a pencil and stakes Hunter.)  
  
Raven: See?  
  
Morgan: My muirn beatha dan! You staked him!   
  
Robbie: Hey, don't worry Morgan. We can get you a new one from the pet shop in the morning, just like we did with Cal.  
  
Sky: Yeah! We can even give him a little funeral in the garden!  
  
(They go to the graveyard. Morgan and Raven are stocked up with pencils, and for some bizarre reason, one wax crayon. They get there and find...)  
  
Morgan: Killian!  
  
Raven: In tweed!  
  
Sky: What happened to you?  
  
Robbie: I'm...guessing he's affected by the Buffy spell?  
  
Killian (seriously pissed off): What spell? This is not funny! I'm in tweed for God's sake! I went out to get a drink and...and...  
  
Sky: What?  
  
Killian: I had a cup of tea instead! *sobs*  
  
Sky: He's Giles.  
  
Morgan: I figured.  
  
(Just then the ground starts to shake. A small stormcloud forms and Cal drops out of the sky naked.)  
  
Morgan: Cal! Cal... (She stares.)  
  
(Cal looks down at himself.)  
  
Cal: Damn! *magicks up some clothes* *Morgan sighs*  
  
Morgan: Er...*tears face away*. Didn't I kill you?  
  
Cal: Ah, but I'm a Buffy character now. Buffy characters never die. Just temporarily. Which means...  
  
(He snaps his fingers. Alisa and Bree walk up and take positions behind him.)  
  
Robbie: Bree! *clicks fingers* *Bree starts to walk up to him*  
  
Cal: Oi! *clicks fingers* *Bree turns back*  
  
Robbie: *clicks fingers*  
  
Cal: *clicks fingers*  
  
Robbie: Hey, this is kinda cool! *clicks fingers*  
  
(Bree is now turning in circles so fast she begins to drill herself into the ground.)  
  
Hunter: I'm back! *slugs Cal* Spike's too fit to die.  
  
(Bree is freed and runs to Robbie. They begin a passionate make-out session on the floor. Everyone looks at them weird then subtly edge forward away from them.)  
  
(Hunter runs to Morgan.)  
  
Hunter: Hand me a pencil, love! I'll save you!  
  
(Morgan throws him one. He snatches it out of the air and stabs it into Cal's chest.)  
  
Cal: *whines* Moooorgan, don't you love me any mooore? Argh, I'm melting, what a world...  
  
(Hunter takes a closer look at the stake.)  
  
Hunter: A wax crayon? Okay, who's bloody smartarse idea was that?  
  
Robbie: *raises hand* Er, that would be mine. *smirks*  
  
Cal: *stops writhing in torment* A wax crayon? Oh fu- I mean, I knew that. I was just testing you.  
  
Hunter: *takes pencil* *stakes Cal*  
  
Morgan: Cal! My true lo- *backs off from Hunter* I mean, yippee.  
  
(With the permanent death of a character, the Buffy spell breaks down. Everyone is restored to their normal selves.)  
  
Sky: *brushes herself off* Thank the Goddess for that. Raven!  
  
(Raven is making out with Killian.)  
  
Raven: Hey, you like him too, don't you?  
  
Killian: Everyone likes me!  
  
Raven: Come join us!  
  
(Raven, Killian and Sky make a threesome. Morgan and Hunter shrug and have 'celebratory' make-out session.)  
  
Alisa: But what about meeeee?  
  
(Since this fanfic is the author's, and the author doesn't like Alisa, a huge anvil for no apparent reason falls out of the sky and randomly drops on Alisa's head. Everyone cheers, then returns to making out.) 


	2. Bloodwitch of the Ring: LOTR falls victi...

My next installment. (Thank you, nofurylikewiccansscorned, for your v. encouraging email. If I get enough good reviews I'll write another chapter where they're all turned into Harry Potter characters or somesuch.) I think this time they should all be transformed into...  
  
Characters under the Lord Of The Rings spell  
  
Morgan - Arwen  
  
Hunter - Aragorn  
  
Bree - Sam  
  
Robbie - Frodo  
  
Alisa - Boromir  
  
Raven - Eowyn  
  
Sky - Galadriel  
  
Killian - Gandalf  
  
Ciaran - Legolas  
  
Selene - Sauron  
  
Cal - Gollum  
  
Two weeks have passed since the Buffy incident. Kithic's last circle didn't go so bad, but this time Morgan is daydreaming again, and when they come out of the circle...  
  
Robbie: Wtf? I'm small! Really, really small...  
  
Bree: As long as your *cough*, um, appendages haven't shrunk too... hey, I'm small too! *sobs* Now I'll never fit in my stilettos again!  
  
(Everyone glares accusingly at Morgan)  
  
Morgan: What?  
  
Raven: I thought that was pretty clear.  
  
Morgan: This can't be my fault. I've daydreamed during Circle before, and my energy wasn't misdirected then - otherwise you'd all be turned into Hunter's big, gorgeous...face! FACE! What?  
  
Hunter: So someone is doing this to you?  
  
Sky: *in ethereal, husky voice* But how do we break the spell?  
  
Robbie: Morgan, what were you daydreaming about this time?  
  
Morgan: Well...Lord of the Rings. Hunter's my Aragorn - he's so commanding!  
  
(Alisa walks in dressed in big heavy tunic with shield, sword and horn.)  
  
Bree: Hey, the spell brought Alisa back!  
  
(Raven sticks a foot out and trips Alisa. Alisa falls and impales herself on the sword.)  
  
Raven: *coughs* Oh look, no it didn't.  
  
Robbie: Hey...I'm...hungry.  
  
Bree: Yeah, real hungry. Like - I missed elevenses!  
  
(They dash off at top speed on their little legs for the kitchen. Since nobody else knows what to do, they all sit back down and start whistling aimlessly. Loud bangs and thuds can be heard. The long cooking scene is omitted, but needless to say Bree and Robbie half demolish the kitchen in their relentless search for food...or at least something they can reach the top shelf with. Unable to find potatoes or mushrooms, they run back in with Pot Noodles. They sit down and start gobbling them. Bree stretches and her long sleeve falls back from her hand, revealing...a cheap plastic ring with a tacky red jewel stuck on.)  
  
Robbie: S'mine! Give it to me! Give it to me!  
  
Bree: Argh!  
  
Morgan: Someone stop the pint-sized psychopaths!  
  
(Everyone holds Robbie back from killing Bree, apart from Raven, who can't be bothered.)  
  
Bree: Okay...you are so endangering our relationship! *sniffs* Have it then! Know my embarrassing secret...I buy my jewellery from Walmart!  
  
Hunter: Hey, that's where I buy my underwear from!  
  
(Everyone looks away.)  
  
Hunter: What?  
  
(The door bursts open. Fireworks shoot through the room and light up everything in pretty pretty colours.)  
  
Killian: Ahem, sorry 'bout that. It seems to be happening wherever I go at the moment.  
  
Morgan: No problem. Fireworks so pretty...  
  
Killian: Anyways...No! Robbie! Don't put it on or you shall be...DOOMED!  
  
Robbie: What?  
  
Killian: DOOMED!  
  
Robbie: Um...*laughs*  
  
Killian: What? *pouts*  
  
Robbie: Sorry, bit hard to take you seriously when you've a two foot beard.  
  
Killian: *sits down and bursts into tears* It's not my fault I'm always the serious guy in Morgan's spells! *sobs* I'm not even allowed a drink!  
  
Sky: So why is Robbie doomed?  
  
Hunter: Yeah, what's wrong with Walmart?  
  
Killian: *sighs* It's the One Ring. It's evil.  
  
Bree: I don't think it is.   
  
Sky: Yes, it's just...tacky.  
  
Killian: Yes, but it's evilly tacky. That is its greatest evil of all. *waggles eyebrows*.  
  
Robbie: I still don't think it's evil. *grabs ring* I'll defend you! Don't worry...my precious...  
  
Killian: See! There's my proof!  
  
Morgan: Um...  
  
Killian: Alright then. When I throw the ring into this fire - Morgan, please - words of the Black speech of Mordor will appear on its surface.  
  
(He chucks it into the fire. The plastic hisses, bubbles and starts to melt.)  
  
Robbie: Noooo!  
  
(Raven hooks it out with her sword. The ring cools down and is intact, if slightly burnt.)  
  
Killian: Read it!  
  
Raven: Um...*reads* Ha ha, scum of light and goodness. This is the property of Disney, all rights reserved. Check our website www.disneyisgoingtotakeovertheworldandnobodycanstopus.com for details. Thank you for buying this Disney merchandise and kindly prepare to meet your DOOM.  
  
Morgan: Oh my Goddess!  
  
Killian: Hey, how come nobody said that when I said DOOM?  
  
Robbie: Because you have a two foot long beard.  
  
Killian: Oh yeah.  
  
Morgan: But what do we do?  
  
Killian: We need to throw it into a volcano.  
  
Sky: But where is there a volcano around here?  
  
Killian: Morgan?  
  
(The house starts to shake. A volcano rises through the middle of it. It keeps rising till they are all standing on top overlooking a large crater of lava.)  
  
Morgan: Oooh...fire pretty...*bends over* *falls in*.  
  
Hunter: Nooo! My muirn beatha dan! I'll save you! *dives in after her*  
  
Sky: Er, Hunter?  
  
(Hunter hits the lava. There is a splash and a loud sizzling sound.)  
  
Sky: Never mind.  
  
Killian: Robbie! Throw it in!  
  
Cal: *appears from nowhere* Nooo! Precious!  
  
(He runs up and bites off Robbie's finger. Unfortunately, it's not the one with the Ring on it. Cal overbalances and topples into the crater, taking Robbie's finger with him.)  
  
Raven: Oookay. That was weird.  
  
Sky: I'll say.  
  
(Robbie chucks it in. With the disappearance of the Ring, the spell is broken. Morgan, Hunter and Alisa reappear. The volcano disappears. Morgan promptly makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa.)  
  
Morgan: Oh my Goddess! I'm sorry, that was sooo rude. I meant to ask first. Does anybody mind?  
  
Everybody: No.  
  
Raven: Hey, what's this?  
  
(She bends over and picks up a tacky silver ring off the floor. The inscription reads: You think you have won. Think again. Disney have lawsuits you know - and other ways of making you co-operate...)  
  
Raven: Weird.  
  
(She chucks it over her shoulder, where Alisa is getting back up from her brutal attack. The new ring explodes in flames and kills her properly.)  
  
Hunter: So is it Disney which are manipulating my poor Morgan?  
  
Morgan: No, it felt...more evil than that.  
  
Sky: More evil than Disney? *everyone shudders*  
  
(Morgan nods. Everyone clutches at each other in fear of what could be more evil than Disney...they will find out.) 


	3. Hunter Potter and yet another Crossover

My fanfiction never dies! It just gets worse! Right, I'm doing this Harry Potter chapter and then it's reviewer's choice. Put all your suggestions on the review board and I'll pick one (however silly it may sound to you, just pass it on, my only condition that it is a book/TV/film series I can turn the Sweep characters into. It'll be my last chapter. Promise. If you're lucky. If you're not, I'll pick two!) Please post, I need suggestions for the last one or two of my silly Sweep/random series crossover parodies (and I shall reveal the big evil manipulating Morgan's magick later...)  
  
Oh, by the way, I did mean to put Ciaran and Selene into the last story. Sorry I didn't get round to it. Ciaran as Legolas would have been, well, random. I decided to cut Killian a break this time...then thought again.  
  
Characters under...the Harry Potter spell  
  
Morgan - Hermione  
  
Hunter - Harry  
  
Bree - Professor Flitwick  
  
Robbie - Ron  
  
Alisa - Cedric  
  
Raven - Professor McGonagall  
  
Sky - Professor Trelawney  
  
Killian - Dumbledore  
  
Ciaran - Hagrid  
  
Selene - Voldemort   
  
Morgan has been banned from circles for the time being. Understandably. Nevertheless, by the second week she decides to try a little spell on her own. Just a little one. It can't hurt, can it?  
  
Oops! Yes it can!  
  
(Morgan opens her eyes after she has finished scrying. She is in Bree's house, standing in the middle of Kithic's circle. Only it's been kind of - interrupted.)  
  
Everybody: MORGAN!  
  
Hunter: I told you to not do any magick - I told you!  
  
Robbie: Hunter, when was the last time she ever did anything you told her to?  
  
Sky: I'm sorry Morgan...fifty housepoints from Woodbane!  
  
Hunter: Aaw! I'm Woodbane! Wait a minute, so are you! Wait a minute, what are housepoints anyway?  
  
Raven: I have no idea. *shrugs* But it's really fun taking them away. Watch! Fifty more from Hunter for complaining!  
  
Hunter: *starts to cry*  
  
Bree (in voice like she's drugged on helium): Hey! Alisa's back!  
  
(Alisa walks through door.)  
  
Morgan: Alisa!  
  
(Her and Raven desperately search round for weapon. Finding none, they grudgingly make room for Alisa.)  
  
Alisa: Hey, why did you two kill me?  
  
Morgan: What do you mean?  
  
Alisa: You burnt me! In the last spell! And Raven tripped me up so I stabbed myself! You really are evil Morgan! I'm going to tell everyone - and Mary K!  
  
(Alisa rushes for the door. Just then, Morgan starts to go through some more changes. Her hair begins to frizz...)  
  
Morgan: *reaches up to touch it* Oh my Goddess! TAKE COVER!  
  
BOOM!  
  
(The hair explodes out in a mass of curls worse than a hyperactive afro concealing two French Poodles. Everyone dives for cover under tables and chairs. Several ornaments are knocked off the mantelpiece and shatter on the floor. Alisa is caught in the blast and killed.)  
  
Morgan: Is everyone alright?  
  
Hunter: My eyes! My eyes! *reaches up* Weird. I'm wearing glasses. What Morgan, contacts just not good enough for you? *glowers*  
  
Bree: *screams* Robbie! You're a redhead!  
  
Robbie: You're one to talk. You're tiny again.  
  
Raven: I'm wearing a kilt. Desperate action must be taken.   
  
(She runs to the study with a background of the Mission Impossible theme tune. Finding scissors in the drawer, she tugs them out and snips down the skirt so it resembles a tartan belt.)  
  
Sky: I like it! I like it a lot! *eyes grow misty* I'm seeing the future...heh heh heh...oh Raven...   
  
Morgan: Harry Potter?  
  
Raven: Seems so.  
  
Morgan: Hunter Potter! Hee hee hee...  
  
Hunter: It's no joke! *takes wand out of pocket* Wingardium Leviosa! *levitates Morgan and levitates her into mantelpiece where two more ornaments are destroyed*  
  
Robbie: You just killed your muirn beatha dan!  
  
Bree: Yeah. That seems to happen a lot these days.  
  
Raven: Ten...no, five housepoints from Woodbane for giving no regard to that nice pony ornament!  
  
Hunter: Oops! Morgan!  
  
Morgan (standing up shakily): I'm alright! I landed on my hair!  
  
Sky: It seems to me we must defeat this new great evil messing with us.  
  
Hunter: Yeah!   
  
(The door opens. A cloud of green smoke pours through.)  
  
Morgan: Killian!  
  
Raven: Yeah, it was about time he showed up. *looks down quickly* Meaning nothing by that, of course.  
  
BOOMING VOICE: No, tis I...Selenemort!  
  
(The cloud of green smoke grows thicker and starts taking shape.)  
  
Morgan (hugs close to Hunter - he really doesn't mind): Oh my Goddess! Selene!  
  
(Everybody tenses. The cloud takes its form...)  
  
Selene: Oi!  
  
(A small snake, or possibly a worm drops onto the floor.)  
  
Hunter: *bends over and inspects snake/worm* Selene?  
  
Selene: *squeaks* What the...? You shall pay, insignificant witches! Embrace the dark side!  
  
Bree: It's so cute!  
  
Robbie: Slimy, I'd say.  
  
Hunter: What happened?  
  
Sky: Oh. Silly Selene. She's Voldemort before he got a body.   
  
Bree: Twenty housepoints from Woodbane for not reading Harry Potter and taking proper cautionary action.  
  
Raven: Argh! Unregistered animagus! *grabs random pitchfork* *stabs Selene* *misses* *falls over*  
  
Robbie: How come Raven's always turned into a violent psychopath?  
  
Bree (mutters): What do you mean turned into?  
  
Selene: Now you will pay!  
  
Hunter: *steps on Selene*  
  
(Squish.)  
  
Morgan: Now if only all battles against dark witches were that easy...  
  
(The door opens again. Killian and Ciaran step through. Ciaran bangs his enormous head on the doorframe and knocks himself out.)  
  
Raven: Killian!  
  
Sky: Raven!  
  
Raven: Sky!  
  
Morgan: It's about time you got here. Hunter just killed Selene...I think you just stepped in her.  
  
Killian (looking at shoes): Urgh...  
  
(Ciaran wakes up and stands up, managing not to hit his head on the ceiling.)  
  
Ciaran: Morgan my girl! How you've...shrunk?  
  
Morgan: No Daddy. You're just bigger.  
  
Killian: How come he gets to be seven foot?  
  
Robbie: Yeah, and you're stuck with the beard again.  
  
Killian: Oh, that's alright. I'm getting used to that. I think I'm even starting to like it.  
  
(Everyone looks at him weird and takes a step back.)  
  
Killian: What? This is way better than Gandalf. He may not drink...but he does *shudders*...have a secret...vice.  
  
Robbie: Dumbledore?  
  
Killian: YES! SHERBET LEMONS! *takes out a packet and chucks them down without unwrapping them* *eyes start to glow from sugar rush*  
  
Ciaran: This is a very interesting spell. We were on our way to a 'Fathers United with Children in evil evil darKness' conference when I started to grow amazingly tall and burst my head through the roof of the car, and Killian, well...*gestures helplessly at Killian who is now bouncing round the room on pogo stick as result of sugar rush*.  
  
Morgan: This is weird.  
  
Hunter: What?  
  
Morgan: We killed Selene, right? The story should be finished. We should be over the weirdness.  
  
Hunter: Perhaps we have to defeat this evil force first...the one that's playing with us.  
  
Morgan: Yeah, what is that? I don't like it!  
  
Sky: Maybe it's a taibhs.  
  
(Alisa rushes in.)  
  
Alisa: You thought I was dead, didn't you! Well not this time!  
  
Raven (waking up): Wha? Argh! *trips Alisa up so she falls on her wand and impales herself*  
  
Raven: *sniggers* Never fails.  
  
Morgan: So that's what was missing!  
  
(The spell is reversed. Bree grows, Ciaran shrinks and Killian is...well, Killian.)  
  
Bree: Makeout session anyone? *Killian sticks up a hand* Robbie! Robbie, I mean!  
  
Robbie: Sure, why not?  
  
(The characters make out, apart for Ciaran, who stares at them then turns around sweeping his long black coat Matrix-style and heads out of the door.)  
  
Ciaran: I'll be back *trips over long black coat*.  
  
The End...for now. I will write at least one more chapter, please please send me suggestions.  
  
P.S. Woodbane ended up with -125 housepoints overall. 


	4. The Woodbanes the last of the parodies

My last chapter {sniffles}. Sorry it's been a while. Thank you nice people who sent in suggestions, I've chosen...  
  
Characters under The Simpsons spell!  
  
Morgan - Marge  
  
Hunter - Homer  
  
Bree - Lisa  
  
Robbie - Bart  
  
Alisa - Maude Flanders  
  
Raven - Ned Flanders  
  
Sky - Ms Krabappel   
  
Dagda - Snowball  
  
Yet another Kithic Circle. Morgan is chained to her bed at home and forbidden to do any magic whatsoever - but...  
  
Hunter: {coming out of the circle and realising something is wrong - very wrong} MORGAN! I - TOLD YOU! {summons up Morgan}  
  
Morgan: Hunter, it wasn't me. Someone chained me to a bed, remember?  
  
Sky: And damn sexy you looked too... {catches Raven's eye} Sorry! Sorry!  
  
Hunter: So what are we now?  
  
Bree: Well, let's see...we only have three fingers, we're all suddenly bright yellow and Morgan's hair has just turned blue and is now scraping plaster off the ceiling...  
  
Morgan: What? {looks up} {hair is tipped behind her and knocks Alisa over, who has suddenly come back from the dead}  
  
Alisa: {picking herself up} Mooorgan! I'm telling! That wasn't a very Christian to do!  
  
Morgan: But we're Wiccan.  
  
Alisa: {considers this new revelation}  
  
Bree: I think we're Simpsons characters!  
  
Robbie: The Simpsons? Cartoons? Ay carumba!   
  
(Robbie takes a random skateboard which just happens to be lying about and rides through the window. He lands two storeys down unharmed and skates back through the doorway which just happens to be open.)  
  
Robbie: Cool man!  
  
Bree: Mmm...skateboarding REALLY turns me on!  
  
Robbie: {leans in to kiss her}  
  
Morgan: Stop! You're brother and sister!  
  
Bree: {looks at Robbie} Nooo!  
  
Hunter: Heh heh heh...but we're not, Morgan my love...  
  
Morgan: No, but you're going bald and hugely obese. Strangely I don't feel like it.  
  
Hunter: {bursts into tears} Well - well - I wouldn't kiss someone with blue hair anyway!  
  
Morgan: {removes baseball bat from hair} {knocks Hunter out} No, but it does have its uses...{grins evilly} {everyone backs away}  
  
Robbie: {pointing} Heey...a TV just appeared in the room!  
  
(Everyone crowds round. Alisa leans extra close to read the words.)  
  
Alisa: It's the credits...{leans closer} {TV suddenly explodes in her face}  
  
Robbie: Oh great, now the TV's gone.  
  
(Dagda walks in.)  
  
Morgan: Oh hi, gorgeous!  
  
Hunter: {waking up} Oh thanks love!  
  
Morgan: Not you, dimwit! {hits him with baseball bat again}  
  
Raven: Shouldn't that be my job?  
  
Dagda: {hisses}  
  
Bree: Hey, that's not the same kitty! He's all black and icky...  
  
Morgan: Don't call Dagda icky! {pulls chainsaw out of hair}  
  
Bree: {is sliced in half} Morgan, you are so immature!  
  
Robbie: Oh, pull yourself together Bree!  
  
(Bree glares. Both halves kick Robbie in...a very painful place...then she dies.)  
  
Morgan: Dagda, who's a very hungry kitty?  
  
Dagda: {meows}  
  
(Dagda eats both halves of Bree's body. Then he eats Alisa's. He attempts to eat Hunter, but Hunter wakes up just in time.)  
  
Hunter: Someone stop that cat!  
  
Dagda: {jumps into Morgan's arms and glares}  
  
Sky: How do we end this spell? It isn't Morgan, the Simpsons has no plot we can get to the end of, and no rules to break like in Buffy!  
  
Hunter: We'll have to tackle the problem at its source...mmm...sauce...  
  
Morgan: You mean the big evil that's been manipulating me? {shudders}  
  
Sky: Or...we could just make out!  
  
Raven: Gay sex? That's just dang-diddly un-Christian!  
  
Sky: But we're Wiccan.  
  
Raven: {considers this new revelation}  
  
Sky: Pleeeease?  
  
Raven: I can't, I'm married. {looks for Alisa, remembers a TV blew up in her face and she is now inside Dagda} Oh, okey-diddly-okily then!  
  
Sky: I have no idea what you just said - but who cares?  
  
(Raven and Sky make out. Aaah.)  
  
Hunter: We still have to diddly - I mean, we still have to destroy the spell. Any ideas?  
  
Morgan: Why don't you just call the big evil doing this?  
  
Hunter: How? The Simpsons don't use magic!  
  
Morgan: {sighs} The Simpsons are cartoons. We can do whatever we want. Just - pretend it's a Halloween special!  
  
(Kithic gather at the power sink. They are all dressed in pointy hats, black robes, and are all cackling with manical laughter round a cauldron filled with a bubbling icky green liquid that looks like snot (the ones who are alive, obviously).)  
  
Hunter (grumbling): Still don't see why we have to wear these stupid hats.  
  
Morgan: I think it looks sooo cute on you, love! {cackles}  
  
Everyone: Eye of newt and tongue of frog,  
  
Big nasty evil show your ugly mug!  
  
Morgan: Pronto!  
  
(A puff of pink smoke smelling of roses emerges from the cauldron. Out of it steps...)  
  
Morgan: The big evil!  
  
Big Evil: Yup, that's me. :-)  
  
Hunter: Have you been using Morgan's magic?  
  
Big Evil: Yup.  
  
Hunter: {not sure what to say to that}  
  
Big Evil: I'm sorry, I've been so rude. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ciaran and Selene's evil lovechild...Kevin. Hiya everybody!  
  
Everyone: Hiya Kevin!  
  
Hunter: Kevin? What sort of name is that for an evil -  
  
Kevin: {snaps fingers}  
  
Hunter: {explodes in shower of pink fluffy rose petals}  
  
Morgan: Ooh...for me? They're so pretty! Thank you!  
  
Raven: So why have you been making evil evil magick? I wouldn't mind, but me and Alisa were cast as a married couple in this one...a Christian married couple...  
  
Kevin: {coughs} Yup, sorry about that...actually it's because of Alisa I put you through all this.  
  
Morgan: WHAT?!  
  
Kevin: Yeah, you're my favourite character Morgan.  
  
Morgan: {blushes}  
  
Kevin: Yup, and anyone who disses you must die! Especially Alisa. Did anyone mind?  
  
Raven: Heck no!  
  
Morgan: Um...if you just wanted to kill Alisa why didn't you just - kill Alisa?  
  
Kevin: Because I am evil!  
  
Morgan: Oh yeah...look, Dagda ate Alisa earlier. Can you just take the spell off now?  
  
Kevin: Nope.  
  
Morgan: Ah well.  
  
Kevin: Can I just have a quick photo of my favourite character/half sister before I go? {takes out camera} {takes photo of Morgan}  
  
Morgan: Right, THAT IS IT! I CAN'T STAND PUSHY FANS! GRAAAAH!  
  
(CENSORED - needless to say Kevin dies. That's all you need to know. Honestly. Never mind the gory details. The rating would have to be put up.)  
  
Morgan: AND I CAN'T STAND - HALF BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO JUST KEEP POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE! I MEAN WHAT, WAS CIARAN DEPRIVED OR SOMETHING?  
  
Killian: {gulps and decides not to jump out on Morgan from the tree he was hiding behind} {runs away and sets up a cottage and coffee shop in Bosnia somewhere}  
  
Morgan: AND ANOTHER THING - oh, he's dead.  
  
Raven: Aww!  
  
Morgan: Heeey, that felt good! Oh my goddess...could I actually...enjoy killing? Have I fallen to my dark Woodbane side? {sets Dagda on Sky} Yup, definitely!  
  
Raven: Skyyyy!  
  
Morgan: {spears Robbie with random plastic fork}  
  
Raven: Mooooorgan!  
  
Morgan: Heh heh heh...now for you, Raven, my psychopathic friend!  
  
(Morgan has a brainwave and uses Kevin's spell. Raven is turned into Rachel and Morgan becomes Monica from Friends. They slap each other.)  
  
Morgan: Ha! Ow!  
  
(Uses spell again - Raven is Trinity. Morgan is Neo from Matrix.)  
  
Morgan: Eww...I'm the evil one, how come I didn't get skintight black leather {pouts}.  
  
Raven: Ha! Leather always wins!  
  
(Both pull off some martial arts, The Oracle arrives randomly on the scene and Morgan - artistically, mind you, with plenty of special effects - rips his head off and feeds it to Dagda.)  
  
Morgan: Ha! HA! Bet you didn't see THAT coming!  
  
(Morgan uses the spell. This time, they are X-Men. Raven is Rogue. Morgan...)  
  
Morgan: Yeurch! I'm Magneto! Ick ick ick! {uses powers} {catches Raven by the zips on her leather and flips her}. HAAAI-YA!!  
  
(Morgan uses spell. Raven is Darth Vader. Morgan is Luke Skywalker.)  
  
Raven: {breathes heavily} Morgan...I AM your father.  
  
Morgan: Not another family secret! NO!   
  
(They duel. Morgan trips Raven up with a lightsaber. It turns out this has the same effect as tripping up a Dalek, and Raven can't get up. Dagda jumps in and tries to eat her. Unsuccessful, he finds a can opener and then eats her.)  
  
Morgan: Aw, what a resourceful psychopathic kitty! {realises there is nobody left} Great, how am I going to do a Wicca circle now?  
  
(She walks off into the sunset, pouting and shooting witch fire at random objects to vent her feelings. Alisa, brought back by the several spells, is nearly hit.)  
  
Alisa: {running up to Morgan} Ha! You did baaad magick! I'm telling Mary K!  
  
Morgan: {prepares witch fire}  
  
Alisa: {gulps}  
  
Morgan: {takes aim}  
  
Alisa: {runs backward, falls in ditch and breaks her neck}  
  
Morgan: {looks in} Aw, someone always spoils my fun. There's nothing for it. I'll just HAVE to take over the world. But first... {grins} {activates spell} {prepares to kill Alisa over and over again as she rises from the grave}  
  
THE END  
  
Thank you for reading my first ever fanfic! Here are some random end-of-fanfic statistics (these cover all chapters):  
  
Number of times Alisa died: 9  
  
Number of people Dagda ate: 4  
  
Number of times Morgan committed murder: 7  
  
Number of times Raven committed murder: 4  
  
Number of explosions: 4  
  
Number of make-out scenes: 4  
  
Number of spell parodies: 8  
  
Number of deaths: 21  
  
Random deaths in order: Alisa is crushed in mad dash to mirror, Bree trips over floorboard and bangs head, Raven stakes Hunter to prove her point {ahem, sorry about pun{, Hunter stakes Cal, a random anvil falls out of sky and for no reason falls on Alisa's head, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her own sword, Morgan falls in volcano, Hunter falls in after her, Cal falls in soon after, Morgan makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa, Alisa is killed by explosion of One Ring, Alisa is killed by Morgan's "Hermione" afro as it explodes out, Hunter steps on Selene and squishes her, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her wand, TV explodes in Alisa's face, Morgan slices Bree in half with chainsaw and Dagda eats her, Kevin explodes Hunter in shower of rose petals, Morgan kills Kevin...somehow, Morgan sets Dagda on Sky, Morgan spears Robbie with plastic fork, Morgan rips the Oracle's head off and feeds it to Dagda, Dagda eats Raven, Alisa falls in ditch.  
  
Thank You! :-D 


End file.
